Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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