i need an iv and a liver transplant
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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