..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
