just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think my mom watched the whole time
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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