Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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