My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
