Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
