i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Randomize
