I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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