It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
