ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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