I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
