i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
