Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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