i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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