just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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