i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
