we're blogging at a bar
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
