More tranny stories later!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
