So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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