You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
