Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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