I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
