come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
