Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize