It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize