Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize