Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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