somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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