i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
