..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My pussy is not your playground.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
