I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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