judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
