got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
