Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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