i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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