We won't sleep together?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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