You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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