You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You're like the curious george of whores
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
