Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
