Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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