now i know why i became what i already was.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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