i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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