You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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