she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
God I need to hump something, right now.
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