Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
