friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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