Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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