i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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