I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize