Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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