Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
