Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
