if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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