She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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